Last night, after only three hours of sleep, I woke with an anxious mind. What if I get sick (or die) from COVID-19?
My brain shifted into “worry planning.”
I inventoried household tasks that I had not completed. I tried to remember if there were any embarrassing letters lurking around. Should I go through my sock drawer and make sure there are no socks with holes? Has my junk drawer been straightened recently?
I wondered if my legal papers were up to date. Does my husband know my medical decision preferences? Do I?
Should I hurry up and organize family photos? Should I make a t-shirt quilt for my high school freshman at the same time I make a tee-shirt quilt for my 12th grade son, who graduates next month?
In my head, I composed a room to room to-do list. Then it became a drawer to drawer tidy list. At that point, the details exceeded my capacity to hold the info.
Also, I was wide awake.
I moved to a room where I wouldn’t disturb my family and I watched funny videos online for a couple of hours. Eventually, I grabbed another sleep cycle before rising for the day.
Can you relate?
Have you experienced worry planning over these last couple of weeks? Most of us have. It is a natural reaction to uncertainty.
The question is, what will you do with that reaction? Only YOU get to decide if your reaction will be a waste of time or will be funneled into usefulness.
Worry energy is a lot like procrastination: lots of energy expended while nothing gets done.
How to get beyond worry planning.
Follow this method:
- Stop.
- Breathe more oxygen into your brain so you can think clearer.
- Look at each worry using the question, “Is this important?”
- If important, act.
- If not important, let it go and focus instead on something that adds to your life.
If important, act.
If you do not have your advanced directives, will, and insurance beneficiaries up to date (or even in existence), then get on it!
Check out this handy-dandy list for guidance: https://www.fdic.gov/news/conferences/affordable/hcachecklist.pdf
Work your way through gathering those materials, one by one.
Use the list to create an INDEX of your accounts, important identity information, life insurance policies, the name of your financial adviser, where you have a safe deposit box and what is in it, etc.
(By the way, make sure your executor is on the approved list for your safe deposit box.)
Then place all of this in a central location and TELL YOUR EXECUTOR where it is.
If you need to create a will or advanced directive, find an expert who can do it for you. Hiring someone right now stimulates the economy. There are online resources like LegalZoom and other sites where you could do it yourself, but isn’t this important to get right?
Aside from getting your papers in order, there may be tasks that you do not want to leave for someone else to find. Create a list of those and work your way through it.
If not important, let it go
Does it really matter if someone finds your holey socks? Probably not.
I caution you to not get carried away with compulsive cleaning in an effort to have everything perfectly tidied up.
Why? Because this frantic energy creates more cortisol and that weakens your immune system.
Instead, use your energy towards joyful activities like laughing with your family over board games or movies, sitting outside and listening to the birds, or phoning a friend.
You can be in charge of your response.
In fact, you are in charge of your response whether you realize it or not.
Be intentional with important tasks rather than being caught in worry planning.
Notice non-useful thoughts and ask yourself, “Is this important?”
Most of all, nurture your immune system with joyful activities.
We are in this together.
May your important papers be identified,
