I always imagined I would be that cool professor who had grad students over for monthly dinners.

But as I finished my Master’s Degree in English Literature, I wasn’t sure about pursuing a PhD and academic career.

So after graduating, I delayed the decision. Instead of focusing on my career, my husband and I started a family.

Four years passed. We wanted to expand our family from two kids to three. That meant moving house, which led to my file cabinet moment.

The rusty two-drawer file cabinet was stuffed with my grad research. Before packing it up, my mind flooded with questions.

• Should I keep these papers in case I pursue a PhD?
• Did it make sense to pack four feet of unnecessary papers!?!
• Could I let go of the dream of being that cool professor, especially when I had no idea what career would replace it?

Part of me knew I was in the “In-Between,” where the past no longer fits and the future seems far away.

In that moment, I decided to be brave.

I took a leap of faith that the right path would show up.

And four feet of paper got reduced to two inches.

What happened next surprised me.

In less than a month, we had sold our house, bought another, gotten pregnant, and my eyes were opened to the career of professional home organizing.

I say “opened” because I had been watching HGTV organizing shows for over a year. My attachment to the cool professor dream kept me from seeing the possibility of a one that would fit me better. Releasing those papers and stepping into the unknown allowed me to move into the next version of me.

EPIPHANY #1 TO GET OUT OF THE IN-BETWEEN:

When you let go of what doesn’t fit, you make space for new blessings.

Up till and including this time period, I had a relentless inner drive: To excel! To be an expert! To help people! To throw the most creative kid birthday parties ever seen!

I loved my new career in home organizing. It utilized my skills of listening for patterns and creating solutions that matched the person, their stuff, and the space.

I quickly realized that stuff wasn’t just stuff. Clients having busy lives didn’t totally explain their pile problems.

Something else was going on and I was determined to find out.

I invested in training about the factors that contribute to ongoing disorganization, like ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Brain Injury, Aging, Hoarding, and much more.

This led to earning credentials in organizing and coaching, the equivalent of getting two more Master’s degrees. 

During this same time, I volunteered to edit and contribute to an amazing book designed to be a training textbook for a non-profit dedicated to Professional Organizers.

I followed that up with a volunteer Board position for that non-profit. As Education Director, I oversaw conferences, classes, and publications, including shepherding another book to completion.

My inner drive had worked! Not only was I well-equipped to serve organizing clients, I was impacting the organizing industry internationally. 

It felt amazing!

Except when it didn’t.

In addition to running my business and contributing on a bigger level, I had three kids in elementary school, each with multiple activities. I volunteered at school and in my neighborhood. It was all too much.

• At first my passion got me through. I was tired, but inspired.
• Next, I pushed through because I was a “person of my word.” I pulled all-nighters. Relationships suffered. Stepping back wasn’t an option.
• When a loved one got sick and died, I allowed myself breadcrumbs of rest. Life could not stop just because I was sad!
• It got harder and harder to put on a happy face or follow through on obligations. I was physically, emotionally and mentally tapped out.

This time, the In-Between was so chocked full of pressure that I didn’t have space to be.

In saying yes to everyone else, I had said no to me. 

Until I got hit by a 2×4 level of burnout, I didn’t even realize that self-sacrifice was optional.

The solution to my burnout was drastic.

I stepped back from every volunteer position. I cut back my work hours. I accepted more help as a mom. I improved self-care.

It took about 15 months to experience true inspiration again.

I wish I could have learned the lesson of saying yes to me without getting hit by a 2×4 level of burnout. But I’m also grateful. Now when I say yes and no it’s exactly what I mean. 

EPIPHANY #2 TO GET OUT OF THE IN-BETWEEN:

It’s not selfish to consider your wellbeing and desires when making commitments.

Being reconnected with excitement again got me thinking: Wouldn’t it be cool to publish my own book on organizing?

I started writing, hired an editor, and proceeded with the hard work of birthing a book. I didn’t know that a bigger birth canal was coming.

When my book debuted in 2019, I aimed for a larger audience. My editor introduced me to online networking. And, to maximize sales further, I enrolled in a business marketing group program.

Then came a worldwide pandemic. I couldn’t organize inside people’s homes.

I needed to pivot to an online-based business, which was much harder than I expected. 

• I had to be visible at a whole new level, which brought up difficulties like: seeing myself on camera for live videos, worrying what people would think of me, afraid my babbling would exist on the internet for eternity.
• My messaging had to be incredibly precise for it to get heard above the online noise. It’s one thing to be able to produce results. It’s another to articulate that in 5 seconds or less. It’s yet another to persist when you don’t know whether the right people will see it and want to hire you.

All of this created immense pressure.

I looked outside myself to find just the right formula. Month after month I worked on my messaging, frequently switching offers because I couldn’t tell what was working or not. I’d start, then stop. Feel demoralized, then regain hope. Buy a new marketing program, try to apply it, then get discouraged all over again. 

It took a while for me to realize what was going on.

My nervous system was getting triggered every time I did a live video or posted an offer or tried to complete a launch cycle. This was less about technique than about psychological safety! Being so visible without knowing my audience’s reaction was causing me to fall to pieces. 

I easily found clients in my in-person business through presentations and word of mouth. With people in front of me, I could see what resonated (or not) and adapt. Social media marketing felt like shouting into the void and hoping for the best.

But understanding my nervous system reactions empowered me to adjust how much visibility I could tolerate and do a bit more each time. I also learned about complex trauma, the fight/flight/fawn/freeze responses, Internal Family Systems, and psychological safety.

Acclimating my nervous system to visibility was just one part of the puzzle. The other involved becoming a resident of “Woo”-ville. 🙂 

Starting in 2019, I began connecting with people who were tuned in to unconventional ways of knowing, like Human Design, Chakras, Reiki, Oracle Cards, and more. My third eye was opening. I literally felt intermittent pressure on my forehead between my eyes.

All of this was really weird and new. Most people in my life were skeptical, which added to my inner conflict. What is this Human Design thing? How can distance Reiki actually work? To accommodate my awareness of their discomfort, I called it all “woo.”

What I was learning about Human Design and energy work opened a portal to understanding who I really am. That knowing was more than airy fairy nonsense, it was concrete, practical, and confidence-building.

As I saw its power for both myself and others, I eventually stopped being embarrassed about it. Now, I embrace it and no longer call it “woo.” 

Taking my business online created a birth canal that I never expected. The pandemic intensified it. Perhaps this time period placed you in the In-Between also.

Sometimes external circumstances force us to confront the truth over months and years. I could have quit trying to have a successful online coaching business. But I didn’t.

Instead, this In-Between has birthed a level of self-expression that’s deep and expansive and true. I understand what is mine and what is not, and I’ve become the person I always needed.  Doing that allowed me to come home to myself.

EPIPHANY #3 TO GET OUT OF THE IN-BETWEEN:

Take responsibility for being the person you’ve always needed.