I have a super personal question today: Are you in a sustainable relationship?
The theme of Gate 59
Gate 59, transiting in the sun between August 23-28, is sometimes called the sex gate. Located in the Sacral center – where our life force and creativity generates – this energy seeks union with another.
Traditional Human Design focuses on sexuality theme, drawing a contrast between empowered intimacy and promiscuity, which cares less about the partner than what’s in it for them.
Quantum Human Design looks at the quality of relationships as they contribute (or not) to the people in them. Sustainability is the key word here.
When something is sustainable, it’s steady. It doesn’t deplete the resource (the relationship) over time because the resource gets restored.
A sustainable relationship requires intention and a few other behaviors.
Behaviors that lead to sustainable relationships.
- Openness to intimacy, which requires trust.
- Consideration of the other.
- Curiosity about the other.
- Respect for the other as an individual.
- Respect for the union as its own thing with its own requirements.
- Ability to be self-aware.
- Taking responsibility for yourself and your needs.
- A sense of timing for communication, sexy time, playfulness, deep conversation, and more.
What would you add to this list?
Behaviors that lead to unsustainable relationships.
- Selfishness – What am I going to get out of this?
- Poor self-awareness – The only problem here is that you’re asking me to change.
- Forcing agreement – I’m going to argue with you until you admit I’m right.
- Not taking responsibility for yourself – I’m not getting what I need and it’s your fault.
I’m guessing you’d have no trouble adding to this list.😊
Are you tolerating unsustainable relationship behaviors?
This is a tough question, I know. It’s hard to face what part of you already senses about yourself or your partner.
Take a look at how your primary relationship stacks up against the two lists and ask yourself this question:
- What can I work on within myself that will break the pattern of this unsustainable relationship?
Remember that regardless of what happens in this relationship, you bring yourself to the next one. Therefore, the personal growth and pattern-breaking is worth your attention.
Gate 59 extends beyond romantic relationships.
I help people express their true selves in their lives and businesses. Many of my clients are online coaches and consultants who wish to attract the aligned clients.
We’ve all been the target of pushy marketing tactics: the Facebook friend request that’s immediately followed by a sales pitch; scarcity tactics build on the fear of missing out; or not letting someone leave the conversation until they’ve said yes.
Maybe pushy marketing works for some “targets.” To me, it’s gross.
In the last couple of years, I’ve developed a highly sensitive radar for and intolerance of this kind of marketing.
What I do love are authentic connections, discussions, nuance, exploration, and getting to know one another.
Why? Because this kind of intimacy allows each of us to be of genuine service to one another and to build something together that benefits many.
If this is what you seek as well, let’s get to know each other!
xoxo,
P.S. Are you a coach or consultant who values authentic relationships and seeks to serve others, but can’t quite get your messaging together? Let’s chat to see if my 3-month, 1:1 program, Illuminate, can get your marketing on track to fill your practice. Book a discovery session here.
