The Start-Stop Cycle: How to Overcome Self-Doubt in Your Coaching Business

Everything I need to succeed is already within me. This affirmation isn’t just wishful thinking; it will change your energetic frequency and attract more clients. I use it when self-doubt attempts to sabotage my coaching momentum. It lifts me from lack to abundance. Establishing a profitable coaching business can trigger an exhausting mind game. One moment you feel excited about the prospect of stepping into your genius zone, and the next, you feel defeated and paralyzed by self-doubt. This overwhelming back and forth feeling of self-doubt is what I call the Start-Stop Cycle. It’s a common saboteur that disrupts the momentum of many, and one I often see negatively affecting my clients. If you’re plagued by this ruthless cycle, you’re not alone. I’m going to teach you how to move from self-doubt to confident action and be on your way to a full coaching practice.

The Start-Stop Cycle

Do you remember that 90s song by Chumbawamba that goes, I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down? 

It seems like a survivor chant inspiring you to stay strong and persevere past hardships. 

But after listening to the lyrics with greater attention, he talks about the various alcoholic drinks he uses to heal from the pain of getting knocked down. He then tries to boost his mood with songs that remind him of the best of times. 

While a glass of wine or two might temporarily numb the strain of the Start-Stop Cycle, it doesn’t lead to the sustainable, joy-filled coaching business you desire. Instead, it causes burn-out. 

The Start-Stop Cycle teeters between two energies: one that pulls you towards the impact and income you desire, and one that pulls you back from the brave action you’ve just taken because you cannot assess your performance. This back and forth compels you to move forward while stopping to question whether your next move is the right move. It’s mentally exhausting . . . to say the least. 

As a coach or an entrepreneur, I’m sure you have experienced a battle between these energies when faced with failures and speed bumps. But this battle doesn’t have to leave you feeling burned out, or pushing through the exhaustion, as entrepreneurship often suggests. 

In fact, having confidence with your business actions is determined by which energy you choose:

Will you focus on the energy that delights in sharing your unique skills and the divine-love you put into your client work? Or will you twist yourself into knots of self-doubt when you put yourself out there and don’t receive immediate responses?

I’m guessing that you’d prefer to avoid the angst of self-doubt. That’s easier said than done if you aren’t aware of the unconscious beliefs that may be driving self-doubt. 

Let’s look at two assumptions that keep you trapped in self-doubt: I don’t know enough and I’ve only got one shot at this.

We copy others because we feel inadequate. 

Imitation is about copying. Emulation is when imitation goes one step further, breaking through into your own thing. Austin Kleon, New York Times bestselling author of Steal Like an Artist, makes a crucial distinction here. You’re meant to express your brilliance by being more of who you are – quirky, opinionated, just a little bit nerdy – and not a bland copy of someone else.

When I first created my coaching business, I battled the Start-Stop Cycle. I falsely believed copying methods from someone more successful would lead to success. It didn’t.

Because online marketing was a new skillset, I expected that the only path to success was to copy the gurus’ methods. Armed with their expert formulas, I was committed to persevering – to get back down and get up again.

Self-doubt is tricky. You may be aware that you’re following the wrong path, but you keep going anyways. That was me. I kept forcing myself to copy someone else’s method, failing, then blaming myself for not being good at imitation. It was soul crushing. 

When I finally realized that key to my success was already within me, I was liberated to take an approach the originated within me. 

Don’t get me wrong. Learning from others sparks growth and improvement. At some point, though, you need to start looking for the methods, processes, and systems that feel easy for you. Yes, I said easy.

Marketing your business online doesn’t have to involve forcing things to happen, getting clients via pushy tactics, or having to be everywhere all the time. Marketing can feel easy. While marketing involves taking lots of actions, it doesn’t have to feel like work. See the difference? When your chosen methods match your natural energy flow, marketing and client sessions energize – not drain – you. 

You started your business for a reason. No one else has the same combination of skills, experiences, and insights that you have. 

Right now, people who need your services are waiting for you to tell them about it.

When self-doubt shows up, it’s reminding to you to affirm that everything I need to succeed is already within me, and to choose the energy that’s fueled by your mission of service.

Now that we’ve looked at the self-doubt trap of I don’t know enough, let’s explore the second perfectionistic belief that keeps you stuck in self-doubt: I’ve only got one shot at this. 

The pressure of perfection leads to self-doubt.

Some argue that striving for perfection serves as healthy motivation to accomplish goals. While I support clients aiming for excellence, seeking perfection comes at too high a cost. Let me explain. 

Perfection promises that you win clients by proving you are the best. It posits that your value is determined by endless striving. Operating out of perfectionism leads to all-or-nothing thinking that you’ll only have one shot at success. The pressure of proving yourself or having one shot to get it right blocks your creative process, pulling you away from your unique gifts.

Truth is, you’ll never reach the destination of perfect. Those who aim for perfectionism enter the Start-Stop Cycle quickly and often. Up-down, up-down, round and round, until you get ejected from the cycle and land in a giant pile of burn-out. While you spin in the Start-Stop Cycle you hear statements like: Nothing is right. I’m so bad at this. I should have done things differently. If I can just find the perfect method, I will apply more discipline next time.

Saying these hurtful things to yourself is unkind. Would you dare speak to anyone else like this? In addition, these words are inaccurate. Surely something went right. Something can be learned. The antithesis of perfectionism is having a growth mindset. With a growth mindset, you are building success one experiment at a time.

Be aware that when you are in an unfamiliar situation, you are looking for how to do it well. The stakes of the game increase and that pressure makes it easy for self-doubt to dominate. In many ways, self-doubt – also known as the imposter syndrome – serves as a protective device for when you feel vulnerable. 

Make friends with the dynamic of self-doubt rather than resist it. It’s here to remind you that you are feeling vulnerable. Then you can redirect your focus.

Acknowledge it. Say, “Hello, I appreciate your concern. What do you want to tell me?” Think of times in the past when you allowed yourself the flexibility to fail, learn from that experience, and build on your learning in your next attempt. 

As the pressure lifts, creativity emerges. The Start-Stop Cycle turns into a Learn-Build Cycle that is fueled by the energy of your excitement to grow the business of your dreams.

Ready to overcome self-doubt?

If self-doubt is holding you back from leaping in your career, you’re not alone. Enlisting support from an outside source can help you see limiting beliefs from a different perspective and address repeating patterns. 

One of the most powerful tools I use to shift from self-doubt to confident action is Human Design. Understanding my energy flow has made all the difference for me to end the Start-Stop Cycle for good.

My clients experience incredible insight from our very first Human Design session. They feel liberated to take brave action because they learn how to be curious about the underlying dynamics at play. Get started on finding more ease in your business with this free gift: 

I’d love to support you to build the impactful and profitable business of your dreams. Email Kate@KateVarness.com to discover how we create your soul-satisfying success.

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