Are you unknowingly undermining your success?

The stories you tell about your entrepreneurial journey determine how much motivation you’ll have to continue. Motivation comes not from mind over matter, but from your level of self-efficacy. If you want momentum in your coaching business, pay attention to how you handle unexpected events and how you talk about the outcome once your mini-goal is complete. You can shift out of self-doubt and experience more confidence when you tweak how you talk about your business actions.

When unexpected things interrupt the plan.

Recently, my husband and I cheered on our daughter as she ran a half-marathon. Even though she’s completed half-marathons before, each one is different. We were excited to wave our signs and ring the bells on the race route.

My philosophy on running is that it’s not for me. I’m more of an indoor cat, if you get what I’m saying. I trained for a 5k once, ran the whole thing, and at the end, said, “Awesome! I never have to do that again.”

Anyone who’s a runner knows how silly it sounds to have to train for a 5k. Usually, runners just up and run that distance without too much effort.

Longer distances require foresight, planning, and following the plan – all skills that our oldest child excels in. Read more about how birth order impacts goal-setting. internal link to previous blog

Oldest children might also have difficulty dealing with unexpected things that interrupt the plan. In this case, it was rainy weather, school assignments that took longer to finish, and, worst of all, an annoying cold. Yes, annoying colds still exist.

None of these factors stopped her from completing her goal. 

Notice the persistence and the resistance

Although my daughter persisted, she also resisted. Her resistance made all the difference in her experience of the outcome. In her post-race assessment, she focused on how the unexpected things altered her results.

I could have made my time goal if I didn’t have this cold! If it hadn’t rained all of last week, I could have gotten more training in!

My daughter is proud of her persistence – as she should be! Gradually, and with my gentle questions, she’s becoming more aware of her resistance. 

By resistance, I mean not wanting to acknowledge the circumstances – whether that’s an external or internal issue. She doesn’t have to be happy about it, but she can find peace with the fact that the situation/challenge/external factor exists. 

Unexamined resistance reinforces a disempowered story about what happened.

By holding on to what might have been, it diminishes what she did accomplish.

The empowered story sounds like:

• Look at how I’ve trained for weeks to accomplish this goal!
• Even though I had a cold, I was able to finish the race with a decent time!
• I’m proud of myself for doing my very best today!

The stories we tell ourselves about our performance influence our perceptions of who we are. Our perception of who we are impacts our motivation about what we can achieve. I’ve talked about motivation and perception in other places. Check out my bestselling book on navigating life transitions: Who Am I Now? Realign Your Home and Life.

What you resist, persists.

It persists (or even gains power) because the act of resistance heightens attention on what you are resisting. Without even realizing it, you focus your energy more on what you don’t want to happen than on what you are creating.

One of my favorite tools in my coaching toolbox is Human Design. This powerful system maps out the flow of energy and provides insight into how to align with what deserves persistence and how to release what is not aligned.

Perhaps you are well-aware that you’re undermining your success and are stumped about what to do differently. Maybe you know you’d like support to break the patterns, yet resist giving yourself permission to enlist help. What’s driving that resistance and how is it interfering with your goal achievement? 

If you are exhausted from unknowingly undermining your success, I’d love to support you. Book your 1:1 Fall in Love with Your Design session and begin to tell an empowered story about who you are.

Where are you resisting and persisting? Let me know by commenting below.