Picture us looking into a crystal ball.
I wave my hands mysteriously and begin to talk:
I see darkness in your future. You feel lost. There is something you must do that you have been avoiding. You must gather all your energy to motivate yourself, but you cannot. You don’t know where to start. . .
The crystal ball stays cloudy and you cannot see the answer.
What if finding motivation was less of a battle and more of a process?
I want to teach you what I call the “right now” process.
You can use it any time you have resistance to take stock of your current state of mind.
People attempt to bypass their current state of mind because they are in battle mode. Their current state of mind is the enemy. Their mission is to beat it.
Isn’t the forcing energy of the battle to “get motivated” exhausting? Sometimes you get past the hump of resistance, but other times the battle only reinforces the inner critic’s story that you are a failure.
Move past feeling like a failure.
The “right now” process makes space for your wishes, instead of immediately seeking to slay them. By allowing yourself to feel whatever you are feeling, you approach the process differently, and that brings different results.
You probably weren’t taught to let yourself feel whatever you are feeling.
You were taught to push it away, ignore it, overcome it, (insert whatever other violent battle terms that describe your usual method to “get motivated”).
Meanwhile, you totally miss what your inner self is trying to tell you.
Let’s try out the “right now” process.
ASK: “Why am I not motivated right now?”
Let whatever words come up be your first clue. Write them down or tell someone those words.
Perhaps your first answer is one of the following:
- I don’t have enough time.
- I don’t feel like it.
- I can’t do it until I have ____.
- I’m mad I have to do this.
- I don’t know where to start.
BECOME curious about your “right now” answer.
Instead of fighting against your first answer, become interested in what it is.
- How busy is my day? How long do I think this task will take?
- Why don’t I feel like it? Am I bad at this kind of task? Did I get enough sleep? Do I need coffee or food to nourish my brain?
- What specific thing (information, person, tool, decision) will allow me to work on the project?
- Am I saying yes to tasks I want to say no?
- What makes starting so overwhelming? Is there too much in front of me? Do I need some rules about what to keep or discard?
FOLLOW your curiosity about your “right now” answer
Continue being interested in your first answer. Embrace it as if it were trying to tell you something important.
- Have I overscheduled my day? Could I do part of the task? How does my day look tomorrow?
- Am I too tired to concentrate on this kind of task? When would I have the energy needed to do it? Have I created a situation where I cannot succeed? How I shift it so I can be successful (hire someone, team up with someone, etc.)?
- How can I get that specific thing (information, person, tool, decision) to work on the project? Who can help find that out? When might I contact them or order the tool or make the decision?
- What causes me to keep saying yes when I want to say no? Am I afraid of upsetting people? Is this a pattern of “being the helper”? How can I begin to honor my own wishes? Who can help with that?
- Could I grab just what I can carry and work in a different location? Where could I find guidelines to help make decisions? Would it feel like a relief to face this with a supportive person?
Each scenario may have a different angle on why you are unmotivated. Allowing the “right now” reaction, becoming curious about it and then exploring what you discover creates a new process to increase your follow-through.
Perhaps the problem isn’t a battle about motivation at all. Perhaps the challenge is that you haven’t been listening to the information your inner self is trying to communicate.
I understand that shifting your process takes a leap of faith that you will end up doing what you have been avoiding. I can’t make that promise because you may discover that you didn’t want to do it in the first place and that you are finally ready to design your life so you CAN succeed rather than spend so much time fighting battles.
It can be easier. Give it a try and see.
